Sunday, July 17, 2011

Untitled Fiction July 2011, Part 1

Her story wasn't a love story, by any means. There was often more tragedy than anything else, and the perpetual bad luck that followed her like an annoying, invisible gnat on a sticky, summer afternoon was an all too present reminder of everything she had lost.

He had never been her boyfriend, thought she referred to him in that sense. Had he ever, actually loved her? She would never know. But she had loved him, almost secretly at first. Admitting to herself that she loved him was far more frightening to admit than it would have been to say out loud to him. Not that she ever had- of course. He had said it more than once, and immediately taken it back. Yet at the same time he had stayed by her side during the darkest days of her life, leaving as she had finally learned how to be happy again.

Months- no, years late, she still thought about him. Daily, with a terrible pang in her chest. Things had spiraled out of control in her life after an unthinkable tragedy had slammed her family into the farthest circles of hell. She was slowing losing the strength to fight against the rising tide, and needed him now more than ever.

But he wasn't there. He couldn't be there, he wasn't her best friend anymore, and she wasn't his. No matter how many times he insisted she could come to him when she needed someone to talk to, they both knew that it just wasn't the same anymore.
What she would have given, to lay in his bed, sobbing all of the pain and grief and fear away, head buried in the closeness of his arms as he stroked her hair and back, helping her feel a sense of safety that had long since disappeared from her life.

Now there was no one. She was painfully aware that she was alone. Lost in her own thoughts, tears swimming in her tired eyes, fear pumping through her broken heart, leaking through the still unhealed cracks, spreading its unforgiving poison through her body.

She needed someone to take her in their arms and tell her that someday things would be better. Not today, not tomorrow, probably not even next week, or next month... but someday.

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