I'm really failing at keeping up with this blog!

I write and type so many entries and then they never actually make it up here. 

Wednesday January 5 (6th? I don't remember what the date was), 2011
Location: 5 Train.  Destination- 68th Street Hunter College for grad school orientation.

I'm on the train right now, avoiding thinking about Grad School and orientation.  So instead I'm wondering how much Johnnie Walker Black spent for their advertising campaign on the NYC Subways... there are 9 ads for this liquor on this car alone!  "Say it without saying it" is their slogan...

I wish things were as easy as that!  Maybe I should buy my Master's program coordinator and (without saying it) say "Thanks for accepting me into this program, but no thanks.  I'd rather be in the TESOL program than the Literacy program".  Maybe I wouldn't be so nervous about going to orientation then.  And maybe if my morning hadn't been so crazy, and maybe if I could sleep at night and maybe if I had a cup of coffee, AND MAYBE...

Okay.

I admit it.
I'm scared to go to grad school.
Mistake #1- Going from a private, Catholic school in Westchester Co. to a very public, city university.
Mistake #2- I applied for a program I thought I wanted and now realize that I have no interest in it because a) there are no literacy coaches anymore and b) I'll never get a job with that degree.  The only fields hiring are Special Ed and TESOL and I have no desire to go into

DAMN IT I'M ON THE WRONG TRAIN!

I got on a 5 train and now it is a 2 train?! WTF!  MTA this was a fail.  I don't understand how the train just switched lines and routes without be even noticing! UGH.  Now I'm on another train and then I have to change to a different train again.

Anyway.  I'm scared because Hunter will be so different from Iona.  Iona is my school.  Iona is my home.  My friends and the people who I love are at Iona.  Am I supposed to buy new tee shirts?  New keychains and portfolios?  New stickers for the car?  I don't WANT THAT! I want Iona where the professors know me, where I don't have to take a bus, 3 trains and another bus for an hour and a half each way to get to class.  I want Iona where I can run into LaPenta and always have someone to say hello to.  Hunter is HUGE.  It has four buildings and they go straight up.  There are no dorms, there is no Walsh Hill to sun on when the weather gets nice... just tall, ugly buildings.  Hunter's color is this obnoxious, in your face purple color.  I don't look good in that shade of purple.  I look good in maroon and gold.  What if I don't like anyone in my classes?  What if I can't do this?

Now.  Back to avoiding thinking about grad school and impending doom orientation. Here's hoping I'm working again tomorrow because I have a $4300 tuition and book bill to pay and there isn't that much money in my bank account.  Maybe I should buy Financial Aid at Hunter a bottle of Johnnie Walker Black too.  A bribe of sorts.  So I can pay my bill when I feel like it.

Oh, what it is to be a broke, in between college and the real world kid.